living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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