i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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