Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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