You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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