OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
