She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
