carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
