I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
