I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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