It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
its not stalking. its research.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
