I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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