she looked like the before picture.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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