it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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