Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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