im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
