you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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