addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
