there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
