I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
