Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
