Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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