she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
