he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
