I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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