I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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