Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
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Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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