I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
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Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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