He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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