I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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