Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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