I cannot find my penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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