dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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