nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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