Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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