I think I am morally bankrupt
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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