What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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