Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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