one might say we're banned from that church
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
