I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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