He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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