I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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