the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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