Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
