Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I came so hard my ears popped.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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