1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
