If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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