I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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