She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
