he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
birth control should be required to get into college
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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