All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
