I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
