she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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