it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
