I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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