i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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