Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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