we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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