Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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