Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you didnt know i had herpes?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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