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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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