After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I looked at my own cervix.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
