its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
