just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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