Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.