I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
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She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.