I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.