haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.