Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
