Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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