don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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